still plugging away, i’ve been doing the Insanity videos. very hard, and because of this i bumped up my calorie intake to 800-1000 per day, up from 500-800 a day. lots of people not asking if i’ve lost weight but outright stating, damn, you’re getting skinny! i am not, by any means, skinny. My bmi went from 45 to 39. but what they don’t know: i will be skinny again, sooner than later….

845 calories so far today, about to get down and burn 1,000! it’s gonna hurt, I’m already halfway through a tube of bengay and this is day three of my 60 day workout program… very very hard!

I was eating like a pig, or my bf says, how a “normal” person eats.He kept telling me I can’t loose weight if I dont eat, my muscles will deteriorate, and I’ll starve my metabolism to a standstill.

Now I think, K, so what? I dont care as long as the numbers go down.

It seemed to break my plateau though, I’m at 25 lbs lost in two months.

Yesterday, I ate: One bite of cheese pizza, one bite of salad, one bite of pistacchio ice cream (yes, i am weak), and one bite of leftover black beans. A venti iced coffee- I’m getting better at using less cream. I prolly ate less than 100-150 calories total.

coffeeandhardcandy:

“The better girls have something you don’t: SKINNY”

I made this, by the way, my own original scan…

(via blondesandwands)

keeplovethin:

ever feel like this?

Only ALL the time…

(via i-hate-my-self-240)

“The better girls have something you don’t: SKINNY”

I made this, by the way, my own original scan…

… feeling so down on myself that i wouldn’t eat so much as one leaf of spinach. Seriously, you could shove any delicious/healthy food item in my face and i would not even be “tempted.”

Actually, at one point i thought about touching the leftovers from last night, briefly. ((Bf wanted to do the sweet guy thing and take me out to eat… And i was already damn near binge-mode hungry, so i did NOT order a salad….)) Realized that N ate almost all it, realized that I didnt really deserve to eat that fattening shit, anyway, and decided against cooking dinner.

I just cant do it today. “/

INTAKE:  74 ounces of water. Coffee. Diet pepsi.

(60 cals)

I weigh 227 pounds and I am a fucking loser.